Tag Archives: the rules

Unrequited love my ass!

29 Jun

By LeVar Battle
Blogger of StraightenMyTie

It’s bullshit. I studied English and Literature in college and thought the same thing then; however, I must admit, as of late, I’ve started to sing another tune.  There was a boy. He moved on for greener pastures. Now I’m left holding the bag to sow my own. The thing is, I ‘m still caught up on him. He doesn’t just cross my mind. He gets up in there, takes a seat, gives me the tisk-tisk and head shake then decides to cook breakfast for himself before leaving me in a state of “what happened to us?” And even though, this situation is stuck on replay in my head every day, I can’t bring myself to tell him—I Love You! You see before setting off on his endeavor we were just dating. No big commitment. Only dating.  And I fell hard. But now that he’s gone what do I do? He’s in another state. I’m here.  This has consumed my mind all night and today so far.

So I turned to the TTTM followers on Twitter and Facebook to see if others shared in my experience and what they thought of the notion of unrequited love. The conversation was interesting on TTTM Twitter. We asked, “Are we too old for unrequited love? When does it seem immature to love someone from afar instead of laying it all on the line?” One of the responses we received was, “Unrequited love is never immature, only the way we sometimes choose to handle it.”  To that I ask, “How can you measure maturity when dealing with such a concept as unrequited love?” Let’s face it. Love in general tends to make us act out of character, so to speak. What are your thoughts on how I should handle my unrequited love?

The 30 Year Assessment

15 Jun

By theVar
Blogger of StraightenMyTie

“Am I following my dreams or am I just stuck,” you ask? Mayhaps…to both!?! Just like many of you, my predictions of what 30 and beyond would be was much different than it actually is. I saw myself as a successful editor in a publishing house, or better yet, an English professor pioneering accessible pedagogical methodologies. I know. Ambitious, huh? Oh, the joy of youth and dreaming. What a bastardization of reality!

The fact of the matter is I negotiated the two and found a resting place right in the middle. I’m a copy writer. Not of the New York ad agency, award winning variety; just of the Denver, paying my bills, enjoying my life variety. And as much as I’d like to say I’m not close to where I wanted to be, I really am.  You see at the foundation of those “the sky is the limit” ideas I had of my life during my earlier years was simply being a writer. Trust me. I’m constantly arguing (with myself) that there’s nothing worse than getting what you wanted. Sometimes I think I’m right.

So yes, I am following my dreams. Yes, I am stuck. But, unless you’re some ass-kissing, privileged, over-achieving schmuck (or various combination of the said) you’re in the same boat I’m in—forever reconciling the need to be somebody you thought you’d be with the fact that you are precisely who you want to be. I can hear those of you saying, “I don’t want be here.” If that’s the case, change bitches. Otherwise, my word is bond. Now sit down.

Wait. Before you get comfortable, I’d like to know about your 30 year assessment. Maybe you’re exactly where you knew you’d be. Maybe you’ve taking a few side streets and aren’t quite there. The question is how are you embracing the choices you’ve made?

Images courtesy of Jesse Brettin, SPK Media.

All My Single Ladies…

3 Jun

By Sara Downey
Blogger of meanest look

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Now put your hands up and stop. You are out of control.

*in a super whiny voice*: If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it…

That song. Ugh. Girls, forget every bit of women’s lib you think that song is telling you. Stop acting crazy. With yesterday’s post about men and dating, it was only fair that I’d call out my girls today. 

The thing is, we’re awesome and attractive until we start living that song. Then we’re walking nag machines. We turn ourselves into the most unattractive monsters imaginable.

Independence is great, but you need to tame that shit. Let a man be a man. It’s not about being superior or constantly in control to impress your date. He’s already out with you. He likes you. Just be in the moment and enjoy.

It’s true what they say: we all know he wants a freak in the bedroom and a lady on the street. Ladies, your job is to know where to draw the line. Set the pace. This doesn’t mean to be a skankzilla when you meet his folks. It also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send him south between the sheets. You just have to know how to carry yourself in every situation.

All men aren’t the same – as in they are not your ex. Don’t treat this new guy like you treated your ex. Remember, he’s your ex for a reason.

While we’re on the subject of who he is-guess who doesn’t exist? Mr. Guy From My Dreams. He’s not out there and you’re missing out on the guy who may be dreamy if you hold on to the fantasy.

Put down the rule books and the “how to catch a man” research studies. Just put them down. Along with the Bedside Astrologer. Guess what? Geminis and Virgos can be great together. And you can actually make the first move. Guys actually love it when you do.

On that great first date: Have an opinion, but don’t be overly opinionated. *two snaps* Be assertive, be who you are, but don’t be a beeotch.

Be comfortable. Dress in something that has been given a test drive. Be sexy by wearing what you’re comfortable in. Be your best version of you, and he’s bound to think that’s sexy.

Don’t be afraid to be fun, but don’t be the faux fun girl. Be the cool you. There is nothing worse than being the girl that loves all the same things the boy likes on paper and then is secretly dying inside.

Be self-aware. Be right with yourself and you’ll find that you’re right for someone else. *three snaps*

Life is not a romantic comedy. Movies, o-good-effin-christ. Romantic comedies do not exist in real life. Just ask Sandra Bullock.

Bottom line: Let go of your should’ve, would’ve, could’ves. Fairy tales are fairy tales and a pop song is just a pop song. Didn’t you learn anything from High Fidelity?

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