Tag Archives: Sex

Dirty Thirty: You have sex how many times a week?

21 Oct

I’m not going to lie.  It’s been over a week since my lady bits have been visited by someone other than me.  Don’t think I’ve been neglectful. *shakes head* Oh, no. But my sexy piece of ass was out of town, then sick and we’re moving, so there just hasn’t been time.

And in all truth, ever since sticking the old bun in the oven, I’m not always in the mood anyways. Especially after 7pm. So as much as I’d love to throw on some lingerie and hooker heels- dude, I’m tired.

Real life is so unglamorous sometimes.

I got to thinking. As a pattern in my relationships, things start out hot and heavy with so much pipe laying in one day, that I suspect my man is actually a plumber. Then things tend to normalize: a few times a week. Still rad, dirty, hot and satisfying, but less in frequency.

Is this normal? Some magazines have me believing that the only normal sexual behavior is trying new positions every day, most of which do not look particularly comfortable, and how the hell do you do that without pulling your back?

*sigh*

Scoundrels, we’ve discussed changes in sex drive in our 30s, but I don’t think we’ve ever fessed up to how much we’re getting laid. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is going to have words with me for disclosing deets about our sex life, but you know, greater good. Okay, so I put it out there, now assure me that it’s normal. Or at least reasonable.

Sex, No sex, and WTF is going on…Let’s talk, Scoundrels.

21 Sep

When they’re not putting out, what are you putting into the relationship?

Guest Post: Debauchery Yesterday > 30 Today > Who Knows Tomorrow

17 Sep

So when we received this submission, there was no way in hell we were going to just sit on it and not give you a gander into the seedy, debaucherous, and yet, strangely intriguing life of SG. Christ on a bike, I really love this submission. A reader that’s willing to share what many would probably frown upon. Judge. Do what you will. But read this.  –theVar

I’ll have to be presumptuous for a minute and say that for guys like me, being 30 is harder than it is for most people (and don’t say a word about how I’m already a couple of years over 30, that’s just bad form). The reason behind this selfish assumption is that everything I expected to do with my life as an adult, I already did—with panache—in my 20’s. Sadly, that lifestyle’s left me a hollow, unhealthy, burnt-out shell of a man. Continue reading

Does size matter?

24 Aug

My name is theVar, and I have a full-size bed. Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty fuckers! Besides, that’s more economy size. *wink, wink*

The big gun.

No seriously. I really do have a full-size bed. After telling two friends this last night, they looked at me like I’d kicked their puppy. Then they proceeded to tell me how I’m abnormal. What self-respecting, 30-year-old man could sleep in a full-sized bed? And, of course, my retort was, “I could. Now get off my balls and let me sleep.” Continue reading

Dirty Thirty: Diddle

29 Jul

[tweetmeme source=”talkthirtytome” only_single=false]

By Sara Downey
Blogger for meanest look

Had a conversation with some girlfriends the other day. About sex of course. This time it was masturbation. Did you know that 11% of women surveyed by the Kinsey Institute claim they have never masturbated?

I spend 11% of every single day diddling myself.

And I know that I’m not totally alone on this. After I pulled a muscle in my back doing the deed, I asked people if they had ever had similar injuries. One girl said, “sometimes you have to get athletic.” And another said, “I’ve been in some awkward situations with myself.”

Glad to know I’m not the only one with masturbation related back injuries.

Back to that 11%! Whoa, that’s a hard number for me to swallow.

Now I’m curious.

How many of you get down wit ‘cho bad self?

Dirty Thirty: Porn

25 Jun

Porn, porn and more porn!

By Sara Downey
Blogger of meanest look

Scoundrels, you nearly got an article today on female masturbation. Unfortunately or fortunately for you all, I stumbled upon something far greater in my research.

While searching the Google for articles on female masturbation, I instead came across a porn site showing women getting down on themselves.

My gentleman friend, curious as to what that delightful sound was coming from my MacBook, leaned over and got very excited at what I was watching. Very excited.

So here we are. Ladies, gents, couples- I want to know. How much does porn play a role in your sex life. Solo, or getttin’ dirty as a team? Maybe it’s just me, but I like it. -Mom and Dad- Stop reading right now!

I think a little visual stimulation goes a long way in getting rowdy for a romp. I know there are some that are completely repulsed by the idea, by the existence of porn in the first place. Those people probably don’t read this blog. And if they do, I hope they pipe up. So tell me all about what dirty slice of heaven you enjoy. Or if you think it’s ewwwie, ewwwie, gross?

Talk thirty to me, scoundrels.

Our Most Gracious Thank You

18 Jun

Wow! Sara and I are chillaxing at our graphic designer friend’s house in total nostalgia.  I can’t believe it’s been a month already. How about you, Sara?

Sara: Right, and a helluva month at that! Thanks to our readers we’ve begun talking about things that really matter. We’ve begun to build a community. And thanks to our contributors, we’ve found that we’re not alone  in our struggle to navigate our 30s.

LeVar: Sara, do you remember that first post? GC33, what a brave soul you were. I <3 your face. Then we got the woman’s perspective on expectations from Kelly. I just wanna keep her in my pocket to give her x’s and o’s all day long.

Sara: It sure was nice to know that we weren’t alone in our questions.

And do you remember Alison’s moment where at her sister’s high school graduation, she realized that she was old enough to be her mother? Or when the Professor shared what it was like to be leaving his 30s? Or what it’s like for Lorrie as a mom in her 30s.

Or me, entering my 30s. All in the last month. Whew.

LeVar: Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I’m still in awe over Ryan and his commitment to not drinking. Oh, and we will definitely never forget about Party Girl. Can I just live in her shoes for a week I’m sure my legs would look great in her 5 inch heels and a mini dress.

ED, you can unleash that 16 year old anytime you want. *wink*  Adam…”I can still party like I’m 21, but for the two day hangover.” Let’s just say Sara’s 30th last weekend has got to be a testament to that.

Sara: So true! So very true. Thanks for the warning Adam, sorry I didn’t heed it.

LeVar: I don’t know. In all this rambling what we’re trying to say is that we are deeply grateful and overjoyed by all of you and the unconditional support from great friends, talented contributors and this fearless community.

Sara: So thank you, readers. Thank you contributors. Thank you Var for crafting and curating this blog with me.  We had over 3000 unique viewers this past month. Let’s see what we can do from here on out.

The Dirty Thirty: Manscaping

17 Jun

man· scaping [man-skeyping], (v.)   1. a mans grooming of his body hair.  2. grooming of a man’s nether regions.

Metrosexual is a term that’s so (to quote Fergie) 2000 and late. So why is manscaping still a topic of conversation? Because I brought it up! Just kidding. Honestly, inquiring minds want to know.

We’re in our 30’s. Much of life is about image, and I want to know just how far men are willing to push the envelope. When it comes to manscaping I’ve been hearing it all. On one hand, I’ve talk to men that consider it a toss up between comfort and confidence.Then, there were the men that found it as simple as wax or cream. I’m an electric razor kinda guy myself when it comes to BB and pellet, if you know what I mean.

It’s summertime. Many of you may feel the need to trim the shrubs for breathability. Others of you may like the tropical musk that you can only find in a rain forest. So the question is, how do you feel about manscaping? Is it necessary? How much is too much?

P.S. For those that are new to manscaping in general (bless your soul) check out this how to video.

The Dirty Thirty: Sex Drive in Your 30s

16 Jun

By Sara Downey
Blogger of meanest look

It’s time.

Time we stopped skirting around the subject and talked about something we’ve all been thinking about.

Sex.

Moreover, sex in our thirties.

We’ve all heard the myths and women’s magazine statistics. Women hit their peak in their 30s while men supposedly have a dwindling sex drive after they hit the big 3-0. I have my suspicions that this may not be entirely true. And if it is, I’m going cougar on you men and nabbing me a fresh young one.

I’m interested specifically in the male perspective here. Has your sex drive dropped off to the extent that you will see a freshly 30 minted Sport preying on shirtless college freshman like gazelles in the Serengeti? Or is it a myth?

Please, share your thoughts.

xoxo,

Sport

PS. Meow.

Chivalry isn’t dead…or is it?

2 Jun

By theVar
Blogger of Straight My Tie

Guys, is it dead? I mean, I keep hearing about my girls going on dates and dealing with “supposedly” gentlemen that don’t open doors, pick up tabs, or give “gentle” kisses goodnight.  (Hello, it’s a FIRST date!) You don’t have to be someone you’re not, but you should make an attempt at being impressive.  Let’s face it.  The women know you’re not the guy in their dreams.  Who is?  But at least you’re being courteous and using what mom and grandma taught you.  Word to the wise–they want to see a guy that thinks about them first on the first date.  Yes. They are independent, and please don’t be intimidated by this.  It doesn’t mean they’re not looking for a gentleman.  Sometimes taking charge is just what you need to “get in the door”.  Just saying!

Know this, they want a 2 lane conversation.  Open up.  To do this you don’t have to be all sappy and give a depressing monologue or bullshit comments.  Trust me, she’s knows her eyes are pretty. Your reiteration doesn’t make ’em any nicer. Bring substance to the dialogue. What else does she care about, you ask? LOOK. NICE. Believe it or not, it’s as simple as taking the time to make sure your flip flops look good with your swim trunks at the pool.  You don’t have to go designer.  Just make sure your outfit fits your personality and meets the occasion.

Please, please, please smell good. You don’t have to smell like a cologne kiosk, just smell clean.  You won’t believe how far your detergent and a stroke of deodorant can go.  I’m here to tell ya, a loooonnnnnggg way! I mentioned opening doors before, and I have to go back to this.   It sounds trite, but it’s a sign of respect.  Don’t you want to make her squish? The pig will come out of me over and over in this article. What I’m about to say is no exception.  Opening doors can cause knee weakness–another step closer to panty dropping. Come on. Panty dropping with someone you want and really click with; isn’t that the goal.

Listening.  I can’t believe I waited until this point to talk about listening.  Nonetheless, listen mofo’s. Don’t just listen for the sake of seeming interested; listen with purpose.  If you want to get to know her, and more, all you have to do is (what?) ______. The future will mandate that you have a grasp on what she does and does not like. For example, if she mentions that she likes bike rides, and you pick her up, in your car mind you, and take her to a restaurant on a bike-riding-perfect day, you can kiss your McDreamy status, buh-bye! Dissemination of information cannot fall on deaf ears!

Let’s not forget cell phones. Pretend you don’t know about Alexander Gram Bell.  We’re in a technology age. Everyone get’s it; however, you’re on a first date. Your cell phone is not the object of desire. For either of you! If it’s important, excuse yourself–briefly. If not, put the bitch on silent or even vibrate. (I’ve heard it feels better that way). Just keep it out of the moment.  The moment = you + her.

I’m not going to beat a dead horse. Guys, women are giving you the  answer. She’s just one of the guys (so to speak). Give her the attention you’re giving your boys.  You’ll remember his comment about the last score of the World Series when the Rockies lost against the Red Sox for years to come.  Doesn’t she deserve the same interest and attention to detail from you?  Keep it real, gentlemen.  This doesn’t mean Dickwad.  Be Mr. Trying. Mr. Effort.  She notices. And that gets penis in her mouth. The question is “Will it be yours?”

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