Tag Archives: First Date

But what if she ain’t having it?

28 Jun

By theVar
Blogger of StraightenMyTie

Sport,

I was chatting with a male friend the other day about your article From the Broke Files.  He was really picking up what you were putting down…until!  You see, he stepped back and thought about how his girlfriend would be all about free day at the zoo, free day at the art museum, and all the other none-breaking-the-bank (you’re awesome by-the-way) cool and fun things you came up with until she realizes that they are all FREE.

So it got me to thinking.  She’s probably this high-maintenance, face about town, used to getting what she wants, it chick–so to speak. This girl kinda reminds me of Party Girl (the “it” girl we love).  Come to think of it, Sport, she’s not much different than yourself. You both love free shit. Just in different ways.

Now the questions I have are how should/could he deal with her? Readers, what do you think would be a feasible solution for this friend of mine? You know what would be even better.  I want to hear from Party Girl. Would the things Sport mentioned in her post make you cringe or would you welcome them with open arms?

All My Single Ladies…

3 Jun

By Sara Downey
Blogger of meanest look

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Now put your hands up and stop. You are out of control.

*in a super whiny voice*: If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it…

That song. Ugh. Girls, forget every bit of women’s lib you think that song is telling you. Stop acting crazy. With yesterday’s post about men and dating, it was only fair that I’d call out my girls today. 

The thing is, we’re awesome and attractive until we start living that song. Then we’re walking nag machines. We turn ourselves into the most unattractive monsters imaginable.

Independence is great, but you need to tame that shit. Let a man be a man. It’s not about being superior or constantly in control to impress your date. He’s already out with you. He likes you. Just be in the moment and enjoy.

It’s true what they say: we all know he wants a freak in the bedroom and a lady on the street. Ladies, your job is to know where to draw the line. Set the pace. This doesn’t mean to be a skankzilla when you meet his folks. It also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send him south between the sheets. You just have to know how to carry yourself in every situation.

All men aren’t the same – as in they are not your ex. Don’t treat this new guy like you treated your ex. Remember, he’s your ex for a reason.

While we’re on the subject of who he is-guess who doesn’t exist? Mr. Guy From My Dreams. He’s not out there and you’re missing out on the guy who may be dreamy if you hold on to the fantasy.

Put down the rule books and the “how to catch a man” research studies. Just put them down. Along with the Bedside Astrologer. Guess what? Geminis and Virgos can be great together. And you can actually make the first move. Guys actually love it when you do.

On that great first date: Have an opinion, but don’t be overly opinionated. *two snaps* Be assertive, be who you are, but don’t be a beeotch.

Be comfortable. Dress in something that has been given a test drive. Be sexy by wearing what you’re comfortable in. Be your best version of you, and he’s bound to think that’s sexy.

Don’t be afraid to be fun, but don’t be the faux fun girl. Be the cool you. There is nothing worse than being the girl that loves all the same things the boy likes on paper and then is secretly dying inside.

Be self-aware. Be right with yourself and you’ll find that you’re right for someone else. *three snaps*

Life is not a romantic comedy. Movies, o-good-effin-christ. Romantic comedies do not exist in real life. Just ask Sandra Bullock.

Bottom line: Let go of your should’ve, would’ve, could’ves. Fairy tales are fairy tales and a pop song is just a pop song. Didn’t you learn anything from High Fidelity?

Chivalry isn’t dead…or is it?

2 Jun

By theVar
Blogger of Straight My Tie

Guys, is it dead? I mean, I keep hearing about my girls going on dates and dealing with “supposedly” gentlemen that don’t open doors, pick up tabs, or give “gentle” kisses goodnight.  (Hello, it’s a FIRST date!) You don’t have to be someone you’re not, but you should make an attempt at being impressive.  Let’s face it.  The women know you’re not the guy in their dreams.  Who is?  But at least you’re being courteous and using what mom and grandma taught you.  Word to the wise–they want to see a guy that thinks about them first on the first date.  Yes. They are independent, and please don’t be intimidated by this.  It doesn’t mean they’re not looking for a gentleman.  Sometimes taking charge is just what you need to “get in the door”.  Just saying!

Know this, they want a 2 lane conversation.  Open up.  To do this you don’t have to be all sappy and give a depressing monologue or bullshit comments.  Trust me, she’s knows her eyes are pretty. Your reiteration doesn’t make ’em any nicer. Bring substance to the dialogue. What else does she care about, you ask? LOOK. NICE. Believe it or not, it’s as simple as taking the time to make sure your flip flops look good with your swim trunks at the pool.  You don’t have to go designer.  Just make sure your outfit fits your personality and meets the occasion.

Please, please, please smell good. You don’t have to smell like a cologne kiosk, just smell clean.  You won’t believe how far your detergent and a stroke of deodorant can go.  I’m here to tell ya, a loooonnnnnggg way! I mentioned opening doors before, and I have to go back to this.   It sounds trite, but it’s a sign of respect.  Don’t you want to make her squish? The pig will come out of me over and over in this article. What I’m about to say is no exception.  Opening doors can cause knee weakness–another step closer to panty dropping. Come on. Panty dropping with someone you want and really click with; isn’t that the goal.

Listening.  I can’t believe I waited until this point to talk about listening.  Nonetheless, listen mofo’s. Don’t just listen for the sake of seeming interested; listen with purpose.  If you want to get to know her, and more, all you have to do is (what?) ______. The future will mandate that you have a grasp on what she does and does not like. For example, if she mentions that she likes bike rides, and you pick her up, in your car mind you, and take her to a restaurant on a bike-riding-perfect day, you can kiss your McDreamy status, buh-bye! Dissemination of information cannot fall on deaf ears!

Let’s not forget cell phones. Pretend you don’t know about Alexander Gram Bell.  We’re in a technology age. Everyone get’s it; however, you’re on a first date. Your cell phone is not the object of desire. For either of you! If it’s important, excuse yourself–briefly. If not, put the bitch on silent or even vibrate. (I’ve heard it feels better that way). Just keep it out of the moment.  The moment = you + her.

I’m not going to beat a dead horse. Guys, women are giving you the  answer. She’s just one of the guys (so to speak). Give her the attention you’re giving your boys.  You’ll remember his comment about the last score of the World Series when the Rockies lost against the Red Sox for years to come.  Doesn’t she deserve the same interest and attention to detail from you?  Keep it real, gentlemen.  This doesn’t mean Dickwad.  Be Mr. Trying. Mr. Effort.  She notices. And that gets penis in her mouth. The question is “Will it be yours?”

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