Tag Archives: Christmas

Guest Post: A Jailed Christmas

27 Dec

This is a Christmas tale worth reading. Seth graces our blog with his “this boy is prone to mischief” antics once again.

Walking the Holiday Line

As a 32 year-old male, I now consider myself to be fairly wise, even if I still don’t feel completely mature. To be fair, I set the bar very low in my 20’s, so both wisdom and maturity are still extremely relative. With my current driving privileges somewhat…limited at the moment, and while I was driving past a cop today on Santa Fe here in Denver, I was reminded of the week of Christmas, 2000.

I have never been one to try and make myself out to be some great shining example of a human being. In most time periods of my life, I’ve been nothing but an example of what not to do. Unless you really want to have a lot of fun and regret it later.


Jealous? Yeah, actually, with that kind of MPG who wouldn't be?

I don’t remember there being a lot of snow on the ground that week, but I also know we weren’t blessed with the joyful tidings of a never-ending autumn like we have been this year. I know there was snow at some point already that year, because I had slid into a gas station pole fixture and dented my Suzuki Swift. Which, by the way, filled up for only $9 and drove me over 400 miles.

That day, 22 year-old me forgot to stop fully before turning right at a red light on my way to work. As a result, I got pulled over, and unfortunately I’d brought some opium with me since me and my friends at work liked to smoke it on our lunch break. Stopping fully at the red light wasn’t the only thing I’d forgotten to do in regards to the law that year. A while back, I also “forgot” to pay a ticket that I got for having no insurance. Strangely enough, neither the cop nor the judge who issued my bench warrant seemed to have forgotten. Continue reading


Blog Love: ‘Tis the season

22 Dec

A blogger we love, Jenny, or better known as the The Bloggess rocked our little socks off this past week.

Jenny posted about how she would give a $30 dollar gift card to the first 30 people to comment on her post about how they weren’t sure they were going to be able to give their kiddos a Christmas.  Awesome as a gesture by itself, but it turned out that Jenny and her loyal readers gave so much more to so many more just by using these here internets!

“Over 900 gift cards were sent out by 689 people who were so thrilled to help.  450 people who needed small Christmas miracles received donations for medicine, food, or presents under the tree for their children.  No large corporations got involved.  No one only offered to donate if they got something out of it themselves.  With no sponsorships, no ulterior motives and with only a simple need to reach out and help a perfect stranger, 689 everyday, normal people (Jewish, Christians, Atheists, Muslims and more) sent out over $40,000 worth of donations to make sure Christmas came.” –Jenny

Chills. And my chunky monkey, pregnant ass tears up every time I think of that sort of kindness.  You know what, I can’t do this justice. Just go read it yourself!  It’s amazing and maybe what you are needing today to get in the spirit.

Kudos, Jenny, and your readers!

Really? You’re still shopping?

16 Dec

Okay, I just finished my holiday shopping yesterday. Now I’m just crossing my fingers that everything ships to me in time.  So just in case you’re still shopping, here are a few more picks that make me smile.

For the friend with those super cute kiddos

One of our readers gave me the heads up to this online shop that sells really fun kitchen stuff including these great popsicle holders. The price is definitely right for this gift, and I love that they are a great opportunity for moms and dads to make fabulous homemade popsicles.


For your Dad who makes pies every holiday

Yes, only Williams Sonoma would have a contraption that makes delicious individual pies! This is just awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome!


For a lip lockin’ lady

I love this eco-savvy lip gloss set in recycled vintage tins. Seriously, girlfriend, sister or derby sister, you can’t go wrong with this one.


For the person who puts weird shit in their office

We all work with that lady who shows up to the office with zany shit that she puts on her desk, or parades around the office to show everyone. Why not make it something rad?


For your amazeballs progressive pal

Sometimes the best gift is one that has a great message and raises funds for a worthy cause.  ‘Nuff said.


Sport, I had every intention of hijacking your post and telling the Scoundrels how much I hate you, shopping, and Christmas. I mean, really, who gives a shit about all of this, and you keep posting about this crap! Bah-fucking-humbug. Then I got this tweet last night

Yes, that is a link to one of your shopping guides. It’s for the whiskey stones you mentioned in the 1st shopping guide post. Needless to say, I feel like a tool. :( I owe you an apology, Sport. Obviously, your shopping guides are helpful, and people are actually paying attention. *shoulder shrug*

P.S. You just got a public apology. That will be the last, skank! Count it.

You know you’re gonna shop…

3 Dec

Hanukkah started this week and Christmas is just around the corner. That means you’re probably in the throes of some hardcore holiday gift shopping.

If you’re anything like me, you are probably looking for gifts that are both awesome and meaningful. So I decided that while I’m shopping, I’d pass along some of my favorite finds for my favorite Scoundrels.

For the shoe whore

Toms is a super rad company that donates a pair of shoes to kiddos in need for every pair purchased. The Vegan Wrap Boot in Ash is so damned cute, I wanna punch a baby over them.  Looks perfect for those more temperate winter days. Plus, I bet they’re super comfy.


For that special Gleek in your life

Um, yes please. What fan of Glee doesn’t want that first awesomesauce season on DVD?  Journey, dude. Journey.


For the homebody

These tea cups make me happy.  I know I’d be thrilled to get this set as a gift. Not only do I love me some penguins, but I love the gentle reminders on each cup.  In fact, I may have to get this for myself.


For the drunk

Whiskey stones! What a great idea. Now your favorite drinker can enjoy their fav drink without bullshit ice ruining the delicious taste of alcohol.  On a related note: I really miss booze.  Who wants to get wasted on Cinco de Mayo with me?


For yo gurhl

Cashmere makes even the gloomiest days brighter.  And we all know how amazing 3/4 length sleeves look on winter coats, but how impractical that would be in oh, say Denver, or Chicago, or New York.  Problem solved with these 2-in-1 Gloves. I did mention that they’re CASHMERE, right?

For *that* guy

First of all, I’m just going to say that I love *that* guy. Secondly, I cannot rave enough about how much I swoon over the Mad Men illustrations done by Dyna Moe.  She’s so effing brilliant!  My apartment is adorned with 5 different prints of her illustrations from Season One.  Be jealous. She got the smack down from Lionsgate for making her art available for purchase and it was unavailable until this book dropped.  I’d say get it, before Lionsgate changes their mind.


For that bitchy friend you secretly want to see get fat

The Cranberry Bliss Bar. Seriously, screw her. 320 calories per serving. 18g of fat, 26g of sugar. Bitch.


For the lady with a GD baby on board

Being pregnant means you feel like shit nearly all the time. Sure there are moments when you suddenly have enough energy to clean the kitchen or  stay focused at work. But for the most part, I’ve found that you go into put your head down and keep moving forward mode just to make it through your day.  And on top of feeling less than fab, you have the most incredible aches and pains in places you didn’t even know had nerves. Round ligament pain, anyone?  Plus, you really can’t take anything for said pain other than Tylenol, which is a joke.  Some days a Mommy-to-be will find a new best friend in one of these heat packs.  Microwave, snuggle up and get some instant relief. Great for non-preggos too!


For that hard to shop for friend or child

Okay, dinosaurs are awesome. T-shirts are awesome. And really, everyone should have at least one cool shirt.


and finally, for your slutty BFF

Awww yeah. I mean, seriously, take your pick. What ho-ho-ho-riffic skank wouldn’t want something that will surely land them on the naughty list next year.  Or you can always get them condoms so they don’t procreate. #justsayin

That’s about it, Scoundrels. Happy shopping and I hope that bitchy friends gets fat, too. Mmmm hmmm.

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