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#reverb10 winding down

30 Dec

December 29th Prompt – Defining Moment: Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

January 23rd I walked into the place I had planned on going for several months. Only the circumstances were very different. I had planned on walking through the door a newly married woman with a husband on my arm. Instead, I walked in alone. Sure I had a barrage of insanely supportive friends waiting inside. Sure I was about to drink my weight in martinis. Sure, even then, I knew I had done the right thing. But I swear to you all, I’ve never felt a heavier door in my life. – Sport

December 22nd Prompt – Travel: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I didn’t. Come to think of it, I haven’t traveled much over the past 3 years or so. It’s really easy to get trapped in your localized lifestyle and disconnect from the reality that is much more global than your microcosm. Wouldn’t you say so?

But, this ends now. I’ve adopted a new lifestyle, and it’s all-inclusive. From Portland to Tampa to San Fran and beyond, I want everything these foreign lands have to offer. Scoundrels, who’s ready to see TTTM mobile? I know I am. -theVar

December 21st Prompt – Future Self: Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Um okay, I’m just going to skip that whole first part of this prompt for several reasons. One of which being that this is not an episode of Quantum Leap and the intellectual acrobatics required to get the verb tenses correct are just not what I’m about today.  But the bonus…

Dear Sport 10 years ago,

Stop buying all those damned Backstreet Boys albums. You’re just going to throw them out later. Other than that, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. You’re learning a lot and making tons of mistakes that will only yield wisdom upon reflection.


-Sport today

December 20th Prompt – Beyond Avoidance: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

Hahahaha. Boy, oh boy! Dating. I ran from that shit like it had stank on it. Scared, worried, unsure, insecure, busy, otherwise deterred, you name it; I’ve had the excuse for not doing letting some hot specimen enjoy the scrumptious that is theVar.

Will I do it? Bonus? Ha—it is to laugh. Precedent set, I’d have to say no. I’m not sure this is an affliction(?) I can get over. 2011 may have a better plan in store for me on this front. Here’s to hoping. *cheers* –theVar


#reverb10 +

29 Dec

#reverb10 is better than a gallon of chunky monkey ice cream and the next day of psycho-babble you’ll need after a break-up. We’re not sure what we were waiting for, but this ish is therapeutic.

December 25th Prompt–Photo. A present to yourself: Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

Above is a picture of The Var and I on Var’s bike, Archie. It was taken in late summer by our dear friend, Amber. She snapped this on a street somewhere between Colfax’s Bluebird District and City Park in Denver. I love this picture of us because it really encapsulates our friendship. A happy partnership on the move.  OMG, and look how skinny I was then! le sigh. –Sport

December 23rd Prompt–New Name: Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

Hi, I’m Sara Downey. It’s nice to meet you.

Yeah. I chose my partner in crime to be for a day. Seriously, she’s one of the funniest, brightest, most genuine people I’ve ever met. At various points in our friendship, I’ve caught myself daydreaming into the life of Sara and imagining how wonderful it must be. Liked by all, hated by many. It’s just how she rolls. Sara’s a gem, and oftentimes, the white picket fence I fantasize about. Trust me, if you hang around her, you’ll understand. <3 you, lady! -theVar

December 19th Prompt–Healing: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

In  my life, I’ve always found that when I need some time to heal a wound, distance is the answer for me.  Early 2010 was a time of epic heartache for me. I felt like a wound myself. Raw and open, possibly on the verge of gangrene. It fucking sucked. I was grappling with the the consequences of calling off a wedding and the ensuing piles of sadness, chaos and rejection that follow such a decision. I was feeling buried in the aftereffects, so I looked for a quick escape to New York City. A city so large, so loud, that not even I would be able to hear my own bellowing hurt.

My dearest friend, Phil, took me to a play while I was staying with him. It was Daniel Packard’s Live Group Sex Therapy Show. The show was like a band-aid. Meh, let’s be honest, it was more of a tourniquet. It cut off circulation to the mopey, whiny, sobbing mess of a oh-my-gawd-I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself and was a turning point in healing that hurt in which I was wallowing. And sometimes losing something like that is the only way to heal. -Sport

December 17th Prompt–Lesson Learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I’m self-abasing. While in the moment of beating someone to the ‘racist punch-line’, the realization kicked in that I was in a pattern. I’m constantly the one to make the first racist joke among my friends. Why, you ask? That’s a good question. Possibly because I have latent issues about my race and feeling insecure in regards to people seeing me in a negative light because of it. *shoulder shrug*

Going forward I’m going to take a page from Maya Angelou’s book and refuse to use, or be present for the use of, racial pejoratives of any kind. Or at least try. You may think this is easy. Obviously, you haven’t been around me when I’m in my prime. Shit gets vulgar. -theVar

#reverb10 unpaused

28 Dec

We’d mentioned that at the beginning of December #reverb10 was starting. After a few participating posts, we kinda slacked off. Now we’re back in full effect. We hope you’re participating, and if not, consider this your chance to start. You won’t regret it. After reading our responses, feel free to leave your responses to any or all of the prompts in the comments. We’d love to hear your take on #reverb10.

December 28th Prompt–Achieve: What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

Next year I’d like to achieve the feeling of Accomplishment. In my 31 years, I’ve constantly felt like I was on the verge of being where I want to be in life—love, career, spiritually, etc. To reach that feeling would make me happier than a pig in slop.

10 things I can do to experience that today: Be still. Love all (even the little things). Stay open and honest. Embrace fear. Relax. Listen. Ask. Be kind. Be generous. Be thankful. -theVar

December 27th Prompt–Ordinary joy: Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

When I was a kid, my dad used to put apples and oranges in my stocking at Christmas. Christmas morning we’d roll them on the floor and peel and eat them. It’s by far my fondest memory of holidays. It didn’t cost much, it didn’t require a load of planning. It was just nice.

This year, Mike had put two oranges in my stocking for me to find. I nearly cried. What an unexpected and wonderful moment of joy to find that your partner is present. Of course I didn’t cry, because I’m not a pussy. And we haven’t rolled them on the floor yet. I’m pregnant, and getting down on the floor is a frickin’ moment of joy all onto itself. -Sport

December 26th Prompt–Soul Food: What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Where do I begin? My mom’s in town and has cooked so much deliciousness that’s caused a flood of memories I’d been repressing for years. Got it—Banana Pudding. She put her foot in that one. One bite, and I was that scrawny, big head, dumbo-eared kid climbing trees and running through the yard barefoot. Shrouded by foliage and the smell of country, nothing could touch me. The world as I see it now never manifested. There was mom, dad, my big bro, and I in a land of wonderment. Ahhhh, those were the days. -theVar

December 24th Prompt–Everything’s Ok: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

Sometimes things seem like they’re never going to get any better. I had a whole period earlier this year where I felt completely defeated. Not just that things weren’t going my way, but that life had bitch-slapped me into submission and I was ready to fly the white flag. Genuine stretches of despair.

But I think those moments that seem so dark in life shockingly juxtapose with moments of light. In fact, that darkness is necessary to see the possibility of light. One of the great moments of light for me this past year was when I laced up my roller skates to play roller derby with the Dublin Roller Girls. It was the first time in months that I remembered the delight of simply doing something that I loved.  Here I was in a foreign country with complete strangers skating around a track and finally feeling completely at home and comfortable in my own skin again. Things were okay. Everything was going to be okay. And all it took was a few laps to realize that.

As next year approaches, with all the challenges I have on the horizon, I’ll always remember those girls, my skates and that things will be fine after a couple laps. –Sport

image courtesy of

Community:: #reverb10–Day 7

7 Dec

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

Image courtesy of

I really wanted to bring you some mind-jolting, esoteric concept of how I discovered community in 2010, but the reality is, well, I’m not that smart. Besides, my discovery of community in 2010 has been so much more personal and everyday. I mean, my discovery of community has happened in 3 distinct, but not mutually exclusive, worlds.

The first being Twitter. Who would have thought you could make such great and meaningful relationships through Twitter? Hell, if you let my buddy Geoff tell it, Twitter is the spot between the twat and the shitter. Geoff, I’m here to tell you different my friend. Twitter has been the spot between my right and left ventricles. Yep. Snuggled right up in the gooey part.

My second discovery of community was right here with all of you. You scoundrels continue to rock my world–sharing your stories; imparting your knowledge, advice, and support for each other; not to mention giving Sport and I a grand ol’ laugh. All. The. Time. This is one community I can say I’m effing proud to be a part of, and I’m glad to see it growing daily.

The last community that has really been a driving force for me this year is the community of friends that I have around me. I am miles 10 times over away from home, and my  friends never fail to give me that sense of family here in Denver. To all of you, I say thanks, and let’s hug it out. I love you all.

I hope all 3 of these communities grow stronger (I’m talking about spinach-eating-stronger) in 2011. I look forward to more fun times and amazeballs experiences in each of them.

Now I present the same question to you: Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

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