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Should I leave or should I go?

4 May

“Eye of The Tiger” is playing in the background. I’m leading the team as we’re running down the tunnel. We step out and just before I close my eyes, a cool breeze brushes across my cheek. Then…rip–right through the paper hung under the field goal post. The topper: said papter is decorated in glitter, rainbows, and the words (finger-painted in some foreign(?) secretion) Bitches, wee’rrrre baaaaccckkkkk!!!! 

Don’t judge my pre-game fantasy. This is our first post in a coupla months. I’m entitled. Now on to why you’re here. The thirty talk.

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My choice is go w/ hands flailing, eyes closed, and mouth open. Just be careful of the bugs. #yuck

So, last night I got a pleasant, surprise call from a bestie. We’ll call her Kimchi. (Sidenote: If you knew how spot on racist this was, you’d be in a fit of laughter with me right now.) You see, Kimchi has called Denver her home for her entire 32 years of life and simply needs a change. I don’t know about you, but I get it. Hell, I don’t know how she lasted this long. I left Georgia on the first underground railroad car I could stow away on. She needs similar escape and to experience more in life. To grab the unknown by the balls and face fuck it.

Two days into her decision to choose the 3rd largest city in the good ol’ US of A to move to she started to panic. What if this is a bad decision? How can she leave a career that she’s worked so hard on with a stable company? What about not having the same support system in her new city? Will she make enough money to maintain the new-city-equivalent lifestyle  as she has in Denver? WHAT. IF. SHE .FAILS? <<<<I want to stay here for a moment. Let’s think about the role this question plays on the stage of life-changing decisions. Just marinate

After an hour and a half or so of conversing, she’d gone from panic mode  to loose preparation. I’m sure this isn’t without a modicum of anxiety for her; however, she’s thinking it through. Storyboarding, mapping, planning, whatever you want to call it–she’s doing it.

I bring this subject up today because I’m thinking that many of us have been here. I’ve been going through it myself since I quit my job 5 months ago. What age do we stop moving around from place to place and job to job? Especially those of us that are childless, marriage-less, and without any real anchors. When you hit 30, should you just settle with your current job if it’s safe and secure? Or is it okay to live on the edge a little if the mood strikes you? I mean, we’re not in our 20s anymore when being careless was a viable and totally reasonable option.

Scoundrels, are you ready to talk thirty again? GO!

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Guest Post: Ch-ch-ch-change

7 Feb

Today’s post comes from a reader and a friend. Jaime and I played roller derby together and from her I learned that hard work, dedication and patience can pay off. I also learned that you can be a seriously hot mama and rock the world just by being yourself. She’s got some really great things to say in this post about being real with yourself, defining and living your best life, and facing challenges head on! I heart her face and hope you all enjoy her piece. -Sport

A year or so ago, a friend of mine started a blog about being 30 and how she was not happy turning the big 3-0. I, an old pro of 33 (at the time), posted a reply stating how wonderful it was. You have money! You are finally comfortable in your own skin! You know what you want to be when you grow up and you get to do it every day!

The truth is – I lied.

Every statement posted was a saccharine-infested fib.

Ninjabread men no like saccharine-infested fibs

For me anyway. Each birthday of my 30s has brought along with it a huge upheaval, both good and bad, of everything I’ve ever known:

• A week before my 30th I started a new job in an industry I thought I would enjoy and could grow in. (Yeah! A grown up job! Finally!)

• On a perfect Colorado fall day, a month after turning 30, I married a wonderful man who thinks I’m amazing (thought that would never happen!).

• For my 31st birthday I had settled into the first trimester of a very welcome pregnancy.

• I celebrated my 32nd birthday with a beautiful 4-month-old baby girl, a “mild” case of post-partum depression (it felt like a horrible case to me, but hey, I’m not a medical professional), and a body that was in constant pain due to hip and lower spine displacement issues. I hated being in my skin. Hated it.

• For my 33rd birthday my husband was two months into his first year of medical school and, unexpectedly, without a job. But I finally had relief from the pain, without drugs, and that was a huge plus.

• Last year, on my 34th birthday, I was down to working only 24 hours a week, which doesn’t leave much room for saving, and was once again pregnant. The cherry on top was the horrible realization that what I was doing for a living was not really what I wanted to do after all.

This year, the year I turn 35, will be the start of a long-term, change of living for our family. In a few short months I will leave my job to be a stay-at-home mom. It was after much debate, much indigestion, and very little sleep that the decision was made.

But I am still concerned about the future.

The realization that, in a few short months, there will be absolutely no income into our household is a bit staggering. How the hell will we provide basic needs for four people with no income?

I’ve always lived a very middle class life – never needed for anything, but never had to utter the ‘B’ word, much less live by it. If we wanted a new coat or book or whatever, we went to the store and got it. No one said “Not this week/month, it’s not part of the budget.” I, we, lived a good life.

We’ve already started the process of re-learning what it means to live your best life, and I admit, it’s been hard on me. I don’t how to live frugally or seriously abide by a budget. While some decisions will be easy (I will gladly eat ramen noodles so my daughter can have fresh strawberries and deli ham, the cable is long gone, and we’re all using cheap shampoo) some will be much harder – what can I sell for grocery/electric/water money? What bill can wait to be paid?

My grandmother always said that god only gives you what he knows you have the strength to handle – I’m going to trust her on that one. So one step at a time is how it’s going to be for now. No point in living life curled up in a ball on the closet floor crying and shoving Oreos into your face.

Besides, I’m always up for a good challenge. Keeps life interesting.

Self-employment, Hustling, & Webinars

30 Nov

I love when I tell people I’m self-employed. Their minds immediately go ‘a.k.a. unemployed’. Bastards! I said self-employed. I have income coming in, or at least, I will in a few days. *eye roll* Get off my back. The past few weeks have been filled with getting my hustle on. Yes. I used the word hustle. Not referring to drug dealing. Just hustling.

I’ve gotta say I feel like I’m in college all over again. Being self-employed has meant studying and homework and research and papers (proposals/contracts) and all kinds of other learning and tools.

Sidebar: We have a lot of readers that are  bloggers and/or writers, and I found a Webinar that you might be excited about. Let’s face it, blogging and writing is hard work–constantly thinking of topics, trying to expand the reach of your blog or website, and the list goes on. Sport and I deal with this everyday. Annnnddddd how! SEO strategy (which we are learning) is one of the best tools to have in your arsenal to ease the process. If you’d like to get up on the action, we scored you a discount code. When registering, enter sk0256 for  10% off this 3-part series. Besides, you’ll probably have a virtual seat next to us at the Webinar. With Mike Belasco, President, seOverflow; Alysson Fergison, Owner, SEOAly; Shelly Kramer, Chief Imagination Officer, V3 Integrated Marketing; and Erika Napoletano, the Head Redhead at Redhead Writing at the helm, you’ll be in good hands. Not Allstate, you Silly Willy’s.

Now where were we? Oh, right. Self-employment = College (all over again). Of course, this time it is sans the dorms. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. The jocks, prima donnas, cheerleaders, and uppity cows (in my best Brian Fellow voice) are ever present, but they are manageable now.

My sudden career change has been exhilarating, scary, ball sweaty, freeing, and enlightening. Are any of you scoundrels dealing with a career change? Self-employed? Any pointers for this newbie?

Somtimes I Ebb; Other Times I Flow

5 Nov

Wow, scoundrels. Let’s take a minute and talk about the ‘C’ word. Stop it! I’m talking about Change, not c^#t, but I like the way y’all think. *tisk, tisk* There has been so much going on lately. The leaves have changed and fall is here. We had an election this week that caused a lot of tectonic plate shifting. I lost a friend just as we were getting closer by the tweet. And last, but not least by far, I quit my J.O.B. If you’re wondering, the latter was to give more of my time to you! Just kidding. Only a little time to you. Just kidding. I’m becoming a pilot. Just kidding. I don’t like to fly. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. LMAO. Holy, ish. I crack myself up. Anyhoo!

Yeah. Wow. Change. That’s a pretty heady word. A pretty heady concept to wrap your mind around. For the most part, many of us are unwilling to tackle it head on. We are unmoved by the positive that could birth new opportunities from change. Continue reading

Your Chester Update

8 Oct

Scoundrels, as you may remember we brought you the story of Chester and how we thought his use of Facebook was going to get him fired.

Well boy, was the joke on us.

Chester just so happens to be his company’s new head of Web Operations and Social Media.

Yes, you read that right. The one person at his company that has garnered negative PR via social media is now in charge of running it.

Bravo, Chester’s boss. Bravo.

Hey idiot, the way you use Facebook is going to get you fired

4 Oct

We all have at least one in our friends list. The one that shares all the wrong stuff on Facebook and leaves us with no option other than to cringe in horror and gawk at the train wreck.

The thing is, so much of what people share on Facebook is for attention. It’s a narcissistic way of saying “hey world, look how important I am. Look what I have to say.”

Only, most of these things that people have to say are fleeting thoughts without much weight given to the consequences of broadcasting them to the world via the interwebs. So people say a lot of stupid stuff. Continue reading

Guest Post: Office Politics

10 Sep

By Kelly Tidd
Blogger for Gum In My Hair

When I was in my early twenties, I was working some weird retail job. I told myself, “Yeah, just wait. Just wait until I get my degree, then you suckers can kiss my ass, I’m cubicle-bound!”

So I graduated (albeit a little late) and I got myself a fancy office job. With a cubicle and everything.

Actually, I got myself a cushy little job working at a start up. You know, all that awesome  “young, urban adults having fun and making a business together, but we still totally shoot Nerf guns” stuff? That was me. I started working at this business with my own laptop sitting on a cheap rolling chair from Target that pulled into a folding table. Continue reading

Guest Post – Girl: Rediscovered

25 Aug

Today’s guest post comes from a fellow blogger that’s been a great supporter of TTTM. Erika Napoletano is RedheadWriting. She is single, an admitted shoe and cycling gear whore and lives on the east side of Denver with her two dogs and two cats. Her website is a bastion for unpopular thoughts and blunt advice and at age 37.75, she still believes in true love, unicorns and the power of a banana milkshake to deliver salvation.

I stared into my closet like it was a pile of receipts at tax time. How had this happened?

While I was sleeping (or while I had better things to do), someone snuck into my closet and replaced my cuteness with…comfortable. Colorado chic. BLARGH.

After throwing up just a touch, it began. Piece by piece, the clothes landed on the bed. Frumpy,  Bought and Never Worn, From 2004, Hadn’t Worn in Two Years and Who the FUCK Bought THAT all had a gang bang on my bed. Then: the shoes. Rejects from my corporate attire days and others that are entirely too comfortable…IN THE PILE!

When I finished, I was left with a spartan space, but one with infinite potential.

It was time to go and find my girl. The bitch had run off and I had an idea where she was lurking. Continue reading

Fear and Loathing in Your Career.

20 Aug

[tweetmeme source=”talkthirtytome” only_single=false]

I wrote a post on my personal blog Straighten My Tie today, and I must say it is the first time I’ve ever made such an affirmative statement in my professional field to a large audience. I love writing and respect others that write. Yet, and still, I am ever lacking confidence to take my skills to the next level. I see all of these young and successful writers and live vicariously through them. They are doing what I wish I could. My self-deprecating nature holds me back. Not to mention the confidence—some days I have it; some days I don’t. Sue me! Continue reading

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