It’s Complicated – WTF? Is your relationship Advanced Physics

15 Dec

Recently we spotted a friend’s Facebook relationship status update as saying “in a relationship/ it’s complicated.”

Now, we’re not trying to judge, but seriously? Someone is going to have to explain this to us. We’re in our 30s, we have lives. Why in the world would you put up with a “complicated” relationship?

Here at TTTM, we’ve talked about offbeat relationships and we’ve talked a ton about traditional ideas of dating and relationships. Is this “it’s complicated” stuff just a new arena into which our open minds need to step?

Scoundrels, what is your take on the complicated relationship? Worth it, or you gottta be kidding me – and yourself?


10 Responses to “It’s Complicated – WTF? Is your relationship Advanced Physics”

  1. Dulce December 15, 2010 at 9:26 am #

    Well, they don’t really have a status for “I have multiple fuckbuddies” or “friend’s with benefits” or “I’m in a polyamorous relationship.” Though, I don’t know why you would want to announce the first two of those options. Seems like the minute you announce it on Facebook, it’s totally official.

  2. Jennifer December 15, 2010 at 9:28 am #

    To me “It’s Complicated” is a hope. A hope that this booty call will turn into more, a hope that this guy who uses me as a cum satchel will see my housewife qualities. In one word – barf. Move on. We all deserve better!

  3. Becky December 15, 2010 at 9:36 am #

    Aren’t all relationships inherently complicated?
    I don’t think complicated has to have a bad connotation. Complicated doesn’t have to mean dramatic, annoying, heart breaking, or insufferable.

    And quite honestly, I like complicated…I like the intricacies and nuances of the people in my life.
    Every relationship I have is complicated and if it wasn’t…I doubt I’d be interested.

    The only issue I take with Facebook and announcing your relationship’s complication is that you want people to know about the complication in some way.
    You want people to ask you, “What’s going on?” and boy, does that irk the shit out of me.

    Deal with your personal stuff…PERSONALLY.
    Don’t post shit on Facebook that passive aggressively rallies people to you for your one sided pronouncements on social media.

    Now, go explore your awesomely complicated relationship!


  4. Micheal December 15, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    I’ve heard different opinions on what “it’s complicated” means. To me, it means that there are extraordinary circumstances that make up more than the usual “we’re having problems” complicated. For instance, my girl’s 1000 miles away from me. That makes “in a relationship” a bit complicated for us. Maybe that’s just me, though.

  5. Lady Crush December 15, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    I understand why someone would endure, or even enjoy a complicated relationship. It’s not everyone’s M.O., but sometimes rough patches are worth weathering (as long as it’s an isolated patch and not a dirt road to nowhere). I don’t enjoy complication, but god knows there are those obnoxious, dramatic types who do.

    What I DON’T understand is broadcasting your “complications” on Facebook. Ok, you’re not happy, but you’re not single? Am I supposed to console you or flirt? I’M NOT THE GAMBLING TYPE. So, if you could go ahead and just keep being “in a relationship” until you’re not anymore at all, that would make things a lot easier for everyone. Also, not as many people care about your soap opera of a love life as you think. I mean, I want to hear about it over drinks so I can gossip about you later, but I don’t want it clogging up my social media channels.

    This probably sounds much more vehement than I meant it to. In a nutshell, quit being “complicated” on Facebook. You’re making everyone uncomfortable.

    • Charli December 15, 2010 at 10:58 am #

      I had a friend who changed her status from “engaged” to “it’s complicated” after her wedding. Concerned I emailed her and her response was very thought provoking. Essentially she told me that she felt being married was so much more complicated than just being married. Not in a negative way but to her the complexities of the relationship exceeded that of just saying that now she is married.

      Eventually she changed her status to “married” but I respected her take on marriage.

  6. Just Jane December 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    I’d just like to point out – as the…ahem…offbeat relationship girl – that Facebook has a major “relationship” flaw monogamous folks usually don’t consider.

    There is no option for “in a polyamorous relationship”.

    And no, “open relationship” – for many of us – is not the same thing.

    So lots and lots of us use the “it’s complicated” option in lieu of a more appropriate descriptor.

    • Sport December 16, 2010 at 9:36 am #

      Just Jane, hooray! I think you nailed it.

  7. turnthisway December 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

    my take on it: if it’s that complicated, don’t list it as anything. ever since I became single over a year ago, I’ve had a slew of “what are we” relationshippy things and refuse to change my status (I’m not listed as anything) until I’m married. which likely won’t happen for a good while. I don’t use my facebook as a dating service.

  8. Sethro December 16, 2010 at 8:59 pm #

    I think the whole idea of relationships on Facebook is flawed anyway… By that I mean that the only reason you bother to put your relationships status on Facebook anyway is 1) to make your partner happy 2) to make it clear that you’re single so that you can CHANGE that relationship status in real life and 3) to confuse sleazy people who might be using Facebook as their means of flirting with you. Facebook fucks already complicated relationships up anyway. Even in friendship, Facebook is stupid. You have your crazy Facebook friends that will post ANYTHING about their personal lives on their page, forgetting that 300 other people have pretty much total access to this information. You have your narcissistic, selfish Facebook friends who expect you to read everything they write but never comment back to you. And god forbid you should forget that super religious side of your family that’s also on Facebook when you make off-color comments about the “VIRGIN” Mary… Anyway what are we talking about? I think of all the information we share on Facebook, the relationship status is the trickiest water in which to tread… whether your relationship in real life is stable or not.

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