Does size matter?

24 Aug

My name is theVar, and I have a full-size bed. Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty fuckers! Besides, that’s more economy size. *wink, wink*

The big gun.

No seriously. I really do have a full-size bed. After telling two friends this last night, they looked at me like I’d kicked their puppy. Then they proceeded to tell me how I’m abnormal. What self-respecting, 30-year-old man could sleep in a full-sized bed? And, of course, my retort was, “I could. Now get off my balls and let me sleep.”

Insert honest statement here –> I seriously started to question my sleep choice system. Is a full-size bed too small for a 30 something year old. I mean, I’m only 5’6, I’m a one-spot sleeper, and as of I can’t remember how long, I sleep alone. Alone? Fuck. What if I brought someone home for a little bow-chick-a-wow-wow? What would they think? Oh, he has a small bed. I wonder what else is small. Okay, by the time we got back to my place, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be thinking that. (I’m easily excitable.) But who knows?

So, yeah. Does size matter? Do you base your sexual progress, or otherwise relationship success, on the size of a mates…bed? My bed size choice was based on accommodating one person. Is it time I upgraded and pulled out the big gun?

No seriously.

15 Responses to “Does size matter?”

  1. jonolan August 24, 2010 at 10:31 am #

    A full-size bed says exactly what are – a man who normally sleeps alone. That might quell the mood for many women since they might see it as an indication that there’s no future in the relationship.

    Conversely, a King or California King might indicate that you’re a player, especially if it’s too big for the room. It might also indicate “over compensation.”

    So, the Queen size bed, to quote from Goldilocks, is just right. ;-)

    The above is mostly a joke, but you can never tell what little details might be noticed by women or how they’ll respond to them so …

    • theVar August 24, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

      No future in a relationship–that sounds a lot like me. My full-size bed gave you all of that? Are you a psychic? Cause it’s true!

  2. Becky August 24, 2010 at 10:40 am #

    Well, if you’re abnormal…then so am I.
    I love my full size bed. It’s big enough for me…AND if I have a gentleman friend over – we make it work.
    Because that’s what you do – you make it work!

    Here’s my philosophy – keep your sheets clean, be generous with your space, but also claim your spot too.

    At least it’s not a twin bed…and the smaller the bed, the closer the cuddle. If you’re into that sort of thing.

    • theVar August 24, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

      Becky, I definitely get into that sort of thing. Especially after a hot, steamy session. Rawrrrr! I never thought about the full making the ideal cuddle situation. Hats off to ya and your cuddle buddy.

  3. Charli August 24, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    I have a full size bed mostly because I’ve had a full size bed for most of my life. My sheets fit a full size bed and it leaves some space in my super small room.

    I also tend to sleep alone unless a friend is crashing at my house for the night. Even then, they have a number of solo sleeping options to choose from if they’d prefer not to sleep in my bed.

    I tend to expect others my age to have larger beds. However I don’t think I would judge them if they had a full, as long as it’s not a twin bed. Though a twin bed with Star Wars (or other scifi genre) sheets would be awesome. But I’m a nerd.

    • theVar August 24, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

      Star Wars sheets FTW. I’d probably be smitten with that myself. (Nerd out moment.)

  4. enyabiznass August 24, 2010 at 11:11 am #

    My queen size bed was the first purchase I made when I graduated from college and went to a grown up job. I literally moved into that sterile apartment and had the mattress delivered that day. I love my bed. I’m not usually a bed roamer… Most of the time I stay in place. But sometimes, it’s SO nice to be able to just roll on over to the cool side. And when the fancy gentleman stays over, it works out brilliantly. Likewise, if you have a small dog who can take over 3/4 of the bed, the queen is imperative.

    I hate kings though. They’re too big. I get lost.

    • theVar August 24, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

      Enyabiznass, I’m not sure why I haven’t been invited to partake in this queen-size haven. With the fancy gentleman’s permission, of course. Weird? Too much?

  5. dulcedementia August 24, 2010 at 4:51 pm #

    Baby, you are missing out. A queen sized bed is amazing. Rolling over into a big empty spot next to you late on a Saturday morning after drinking is just about the most heavenly feeling ever. Except when you roll over and smack last night’s conquest in the face. That’s pretty nice too.

  6. J. Maureen Henderson August 24, 2010 at 5:00 pm #

    Heh. I too have a full-sized bed, which I’ve always thought speaks more to my pragmatic frugality (it was $100 cheaper than a double at IKEA!)than anything else. I’m pretty tiny and I sleep solo, so space isn’t much of an issue, but I do miss the option of being able to pick a side. With a full, it’s pretty much all middle and edges. This unsettles me (for some deep-seated psychological reason, no doubt).

  7. Dustin August 24, 2010 at 9:44 pm #

    Full size bed for me! Or… sleeping bag in the back of the pickup truck while camping… I prefer a woman who can get down in BOTH.

    Plus, a king size might make your willy look small… Remember, shave your pubes, and gain 1/2 an in!

    Its all about perspective.

  8. Erika Napoletano August 25, 2010 at 8:08 am #

    I’ve had a queen size bed forever. I had a full size in college. I’m a one-side sleeper. The other side is plenty big for the cats. I do feel, some days, I’m not practicing eco-bed, given the cats could probably sleep on the other side of a full size equally well.

    Now you have me thinking I’m in, like, the Hummer of beds and just being a greedy Earth Hog with my sleeping materials of choice. Damn you.

    • theVar August 25, 2010 at 10:10 am #

      Erika, the first step is admitting it to yourself. Proceed to step 2 now. :)

  9. Nate Grey August 25, 2010 at 3:38 pm #

    I have a queen sized bed, but I’m also getting married. BUT I have had a queen sized bed since I was a teenager still living with my parents. I do agree that having a smaller bed might be your subconscious telling potential partners that you expect them to get in and out with as little emotional leftovers as possible, but I’ve always had a bigger bed because I’m NOT a snuggler. My body runs hotter than most, and I can defrost a freezer by sticking my head in it for a few minutes. Even if the woman doesn’t complain, my own heat radiating off of me plus hers makes me uncomfortable, no matter what season it is.
    If the full size bed works for you, go for it. I can never go back to a smaller size(no pun intended, Battle), but it’s just what I’ve grown accustomed to.

  10. Firecracker October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    Not only did I have a full size bed as a single person, now I have a full size bed as a married person. No room for anything bigger. It works for me I guess.

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