Cheating Cheaters and Lying Lovers

13 Aug

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That cheater has blue hair!

Cheating is one of the most vile things a person can do in a relationship.

And I admit it. I’ve cheated.

A lot.

Every time the motivation was different. In one instance, it was revenge for my then boyfriend cheating on me. A break up seemed unreasonable and far too dignified, so instead, I cheated back. And then I kept tally and just kept cheating back.

Lame, I know. If I hadn’t  been a 20 something with pitiful self-esteem, I’d have packed my shit and left. But alas, I cheated instead.

Then there was the time I cheated because I had my own issues. I wasn’t getting enough attention and rather than break up or say something, I cheated. Empty strange. And I ended up breaking up with that then boyfriend, too. I could have left with some sense of decency in tact, but I didn’t have any when things finally shook out.

Fortunately, I learned something from my relationship sins. I will never cheat again.  The guilt, pain and dishonesty involved are all things that I simply don’t wear well. If what you do, defines who you are, then I’m a cheater and that is a label I don’t really want to brandish.

So scoundrels, I know I’m not the first one to come out as a cheater. How many of you have cheated and what was your rationalization?

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3 Responses to “Cheating Cheaters and Lying Lovers”

  1. Ryan August 13, 2010 at 12:47 pm #

    This took a lot of guts to write, not just in admitting cheating, but revealing what you learned upon reflection. I’ll be honest–I’ve never cheated, but I’ve been cheated on more than once. Without a doubt, I am more than critical when it comes to people who have cheated. Ridiculously intolerant to a large degree.

    All that’s done is give me nothing but more paranoia and a bullshit pseudo-moral rigidity. It hasn’t prevented me from being hurt or lied to, by anyone from girlfriends to my best buddies.

    I can’t say that cheating isn’t still at the top of my list of shitty things to do apart from killing someone or caring about any of the cast members of Jersey Shore. But I can definitely say that this piece was great, honest, and helpful in separating the person from the deed.

  2. theweeklyargus August 13, 2010 at 7:06 pm #

    As a man, I can say that cheating just isn’t worth it. It takes too much energy. You’re constantly worried about getting caught, double-checking your phone to make sure you’ve deleted texts, and always worried about keeping up with your lies. What man has that kind of time and energy? Answer: Not me!

    The truth is, it’s a lot easier NOT to cheat than it is to cheat.

  3. Nichole August 18, 2010 at 1:58 am #

    Cheating will define you in many ways. It did take guts to write and admit your past cheats, because it is like a brand and once admitted people seems to look at you differently. I cheated on a man I loved, but knew I loved more after I had been cheated on. I had no idea the pain it must have caused him, and was shocked when faced with my own heart spilling sob story of a mess I had become over it, that I realized what grace and class he had shown when I tossed him that pile of crap to deal with. I too was a cheater, but not anymore. When you get older you know a heart can only take so many blows before it crusts over and I wouldn’t wish that sorta pain on anyone.

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