On having good manners- the host/hostess gift

10 Aug

We’re all too old not to know this one.

Wine anyone?

Throwing a party is a big deal. It takes time, planning, money and patience. As a host or hostess, you worry whether guests will show, if they’ll bring too many friends, if something crazy will happen à la the parties you had in your 20s where things end up broken, people in handcuffs. Mostly, you worry whether your guests will have a good time. And keep it down after 10pm.

So it’s only good manners that when you’re on the guest side of the party, you should bring a host or hostess gift. It doesn’t have to be anything especially extravagant. A 6 pack of beer, a bottle of wine, a tin of tea–all make lovely gifts.

Some people like to get creative with it and bring things like hand painted stemware or homemade muffins. Any way you slice it, you shouldn’t show up empty handed.

So what happens if you do?

First, don’t panic. This faux pas is one that we’ve all fallen victim to. The most important thing to do is plan your entrance and exit strategy. You’ve shown up empty handed, so don’t make your entrance or exit grandiose. Slip in and slip back out. No big show.

Next, no self-deprecation. If it comes up, acknowledge your mistake and apologize to the host or hostess. But don’t go on and on.

Finally, make sure you redeem yourself by sending a thank you note post party.  Again, doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but a tactful note thanking your host or hostess for a lovely time and your best regards.

And remember: you’re in your 30s now. It’s not rocket science. Just good manners and common sense. See you at the next party!

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One Response to “On having good manners- the host/hostess gift”

  1. Lady Crush August 10, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    Just so you know, the Thirty Rotten Scoundrels are sincerely thoughtful party guests. Not only did they bring a lovely hostess gift (including an entourage of buttfucking, amputee dinosaurs), but they kindly offered to help me as I was buggin’ out of my goddamn mind with last-minute details. They even stayed to help clean up afterward (ENDLESS GRATITUDE ON THE REAL, Y’ALL). One of them did some right heinous things in my bathroom, but was at least kind enough to excuse him or herself to do so. Even though we could all hear it from the living room, it was a courteous gesture. A++ WOULD INVITE AGAIN. <3

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