What NOT to do in your 30s

26 Jul

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By Sara Downey
Blogger for meanest look

This past weekend, I attended a charity ball. It was loaded with 30 somethings in fancy clothes. Everyone was having a lovely time. Dancing, chatting, having a drinky poo.

Then it happened. In one corner there was a man and a woman snogging so hard, it cleared a small area. In another corner, along stumbled the uber-drunk guy. Falling all over the place, slurring his words, just being a general mess.

Note the kissing couple. Ugh.

It got me thinking about all the things that just seem like we’re old enough to know better in our 30s. So I put together a little list.

1. Do not get wasted at a charity event. That is just nonsense. It’s great to have a cocktail while you socialize, but the sloppy drunk is simply unforgivable. And this is coming from someone with a 2 beer tolerance. By the time we’re 30 we should know when to cut ourselves off. I’m all for the occasional drunken blow off some steam night, just don’t have it at a charity ball. Sheesh.

2. Do not wear inappropriate stuff when a dress code requires something else. Dress sexy, dress in something classic, I don’t care. Just don’t wear jeans when the event calls for semi-formal attire. Not only do you look out of place, but you’re making all the rest of us uncomfortable and potentially jealous that we’re not as cozy.

3. This one is for the ladies- Do not forgo proper underthings. Holy crap! I had a serious fill of floppy boobies and may be scarred for life. I realize how unpleasant it can be to wear restrictive coverings for our lady bits, but good lawd, do it for charity!

4. Do not make us all gag while you make out with your date. Gross. Take that shit out to the car. Or home. We’re not in high school. Don’t give me the heebie jeebies just so you can get your snog on.

5. Do not be rude. Be polite to the people working the event. They’re not servants, just servers.

At some point we should have a Miss Manners Meetup where we can dish on all the “Do Nots” we see all the time. I suppose “do not gossip” would end up on that list. But it’s not gossip if we turn it into advice, right?

Scoundrels, what’s on your list?

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