Ask Captain Falcon Punch!

7 Jul

Dear CFP,
A close friend sent me to very recently. As a single male in my mid 20’s, he said that I should read every story, think about them and use it as a guide on how to live the rest of my 20’s. So talk thirty to someone who’s on their way CFP: What’s the best advice you can give for how to finish out your 20’s?

Fuck hard and don’t regret it. -CFP


Dear CFP,

I’m really socially awkward. And I’m single. I don’t know what I need to do to meet people. Especially ladies. Please help. I’m terrible at bars and even worse at the online dating.

Dear Socially Awkward,

I hate to break it to you but that kind of self-defeating attitude is the reason you’re single and socially awkward.

Meeting people isn’t rocket science. Here’s an idea: stop being a pussy and start a conversation. If people aren’t being receptive to you, who gives a fuck? Keep talking until someone does. There’s a billion and one people on this floating rock who are just as socially awkward, if not worse.

Do yourself a favor and read this article:

Being weird on the first date is the “it” thing these days. Go fucking hog wild, my friend. Remember to write back when you find your soul mate. Now go to hell.

Hugs – CFP


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