Unrequited love my ass!

29 Jun

By LeVar Battle
Blogger of StraightenMyTie

It’s bullshit. I studied English and Literature in college and thought the same thing then; however, I must admit, as of late, I’ve started to sing another tune.  There was a boy. He moved on for greener pastures. Now I’m left holding the bag to sow my own. The thing is, I ‘m still caught up on him. He doesn’t just cross my mind. He gets up in there, takes a seat, gives me the tisk-tisk and head shake then decides to cook breakfast for himself before leaving me in a state of “what happened to us?” And even though, this situation is stuck on replay in my head every day, I can’t bring myself to tell him—I Love You! You see before setting off on his endeavor we were just dating. No big commitment. Only dating.  And I fell hard. But now that he’s gone what do I do? He’s in another state. I’m here.  This has consumed my mind all night and today so far.

So I turned to the TTTM followers on Twitter and Facebook to see if others shared in my experience and what they thought of the notion of unrequited love. The conversation was interesting on TTTM Twitter. We asked, “Are we too old for unrequited love? When does it seem immature to love someone from afar instead of laying it all on the line?” One of the responses we received was, “Unrequited love is never immature, only the way we sometimes choose to handle it.”  To that I ask, “How can you measure maturity when dealing with such a concept as unrequited love?” Let’s face it. Love in general tends to make us act out of character, so to speak. What are your thoughts on how I should handle my unrequited love?


6 Responses to “Unrequited love my ass!”

  1. Sport June 29, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    I’m really a big believer in putting it all out there and just dealing with the fallout. You’ll never know if you don’t say something. I’m too old to cling to someone who doesn’t want me. I deserve better. You too. Everyone does.

  2. enyabiznass June 29, 2010 at 12:04 pm #

    Unrequited love. What does that really mean? Is it really love if it is only one-sided? Or maybe it’s just a type of love, the kind that can never experience the richness of two people sharing the emotions and trials of love. Or maybe it’s a love that simply can’t grow past a certain stage.

    Until my current relationship, I had never been in a balanced relationship or crush situation. I had a series of “non-boyfriends” who consumed by mind and soul but who could not ever say that they were in a relationship with me. I loved them so hard that it made me crazy. Really crazy. Therapist and drug crazy. (Or maybe they just enhanced that side of me.) Had I not consciously walked away from that cycle, I’m sure I’d still be there, worshipping someone who did not worship me.

    Can you be too old for this? No. It’s not about age. It’s about knowing yourself. It’s about your experience and discovering what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not. It’s about making that list of things you want and actually allowing yourself to have those things. Age has nothing to do with it.

    Unrequited love is what you make of it. And it is really hard to let it go, and it may take a few iterations of being beat down. But when you can let it go, when you can move forward, the love that you open yourself up to is so much richer and more rewarding that unrequited love becomes an impossibility. Once you know the better love that is out there and waiting for you, I can’t imagine anyone settling for less ever again.

  3. Becky June 29, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

    Darling, unrequited love is terrible.
    The Mama’s & Papa’s said it best in their song ‘Glad to be Unhappy’ (one of my all time faves) – “Unrequited love’s a bore, and I’ve got it pretty bad, but for someone you adore, it’s a pleasure to be sad…”.

    Here’s the thing, if you can’t say what you need to…if you can’t tell it straight (conversationally speaking) – then you’ve got nothing.
    Either you say, “I LOVE YOU” and you deal with the reprecussions of whatever his response may be or say nothing and deal with that.

    It’s a pleasure to be sad for only a small amount of time – then you tire of your stinking brain, your clouded perspective, and your inability to see the gorgeous dude standing in front of you checking your steez.

    Tell the guy making pancakes in your mind all of this first…then give the real guy a call and tell him that he’s smelling up the kitchen and he’s got to go!


  4. Marcelo June 29, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    Unrequited love is a terrible one-way street, because the person you love may not even know, or worse yet, may not even care how you feel. We’ve all been there but a wiser woman asked me one day, when I was in this spot a few years back, why would you want to love someone that doesn’t love you back?
    Love is a fragile thing; it can inspire us to be a better person but it can also shatter with a few careless words or actions. You always have to protect your heart from those that would be careless with it. But the trick is to risk it for the ones that are worth it.
    Good luck, the only real good piece of advice I can give is to follow your instinct because deep down you already know the answer. Sometimes our heart tells us something our brain doesn’t want to hear.
    Stupid heart.

  5. Rick Zane June 29, 2010 at 1:07 pm #

    Unrequited “Love” is NOT love at all! It is a narcissistic
    desire unrelated to the “Other”. Wake up and spill the beans and move on when You find out “He’s just not that into You”

  6. CityOLove June 29, 2010 at 1:57 pm #

    Oh my darling, you know I know how you are feeling more than most. You also know mine, and let me tell you, the Heart & The Mind are never on the same page, nor are they even into the same books. My heart ha been crushed for months, and she still lives in the same household, and shacks with a new person. Yes, I’m nuts, at least everyone tells me this, but I do know that the heart is a delicate little flower. When it’s happy, it blooms beautifully, and when it’s undernourished, it wilts.

    Love yourself first, and if you really want to know how he feels, tell him how you feel. You have nothing to lose… except your sanity

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