The Dirty Thirty: Sex Drive in Your 30s

16 Jun

By Sara Downey
Blogger of meanest look

It’s time.

Time we stopped skirting around the subject and talked about something we’ve all been thinking about.


Moreover, sex in our thirties.

We’ve all heard the myths and women’s magazine statistics. Women hit their peak in their 30s while men supposedly have a dwindling sex drive after they hit the big 3-0. I have my suspicions that this may not be entirely true. And if it is, I’m going cougar on you men and nabbing me a fresh young one.

I’m interested specifically in the male perspective here. Has your sex drive dropped off to the extent that you will see a freshly 30 minted Sport preying on shirtless college freshman like gazelles in the Serengeti? Or is it a myth?

Please, share your thoughts.



PS. Meow.


11 Responses to “The Dirty Thirty: Sex Drive in Your 30s”

  1. jonolan June 16, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    I noticed no loss of sex drive after 30. In fact, it might have gone up from what I had in my mid-twenties due to having a less stressful job.

    That point may be the key though. By 30 many men are married and have families, and have jobs that they have to keep in order to meet their responsibilities. That increases the levels of stress and fatigue which probably lowers libido.

  2. theVar June 16, 2010 at 3:27 pm #

    From the gay man perspective, I’m not sure what mine is doing. Especially since stretching gives me boners. I assume it’s safe to say my peepee is alive and…erecting?!?!

  3. Sport June 16, 2010 at 4:16 pm #

    I’ve heard about whiskey dick, but I guess I never thought that stress would make a man NOT want to get busy. Tell me more!

  4. GC33 June 16, 2010 at 5:32 pm #

    Let’s face it… the longer the relationship… the more that once upon a time, dirty, nasty, sex drive putters out. I think it’s true of both men and women, however, I think for different reasons. I’m not a woman, so I’m guessing here: It flares out because “he’s not as romantic as she used to be… he seems comfortable”. For guys: You ladies just aren’t putting forth the old days naughty “effort” either… and YOU KNOW IT!

    Now for those in new relationships, or are single… I’m also guessing the sex drive is as good if not better than the old days… except for the lack of flexibility.

    And yes… STRESS can derail the best of situations at the worst of times.

  5. Betty June 16, 2010 at 6:53 pm #

    I can officially say that at least for me, yes, my sex drive has gone up in my 30’s (the 2 years I’ve been in them, thus far). I have also often speculated that my gentlemen callers that are 30+ have, in fact, had a decrease in their sex drive – but I didn’t know them before hand so there’s that. However, this is not true across the board. My relationships don’t have the stress of marriage or kids, but yes, the stress of a job is often there. Also, in my many short-term relationships, I have thought of sex to be a stress-reliever, at least for me – not always the case for my male counter-part.

    Let’s not forget one important factor that also has GREAT effects on sex drive – confidence! I would imagine most women in their 30’s have come to accept their body, sexual preferences and limitations, boundaries of the relationship (casual or monogamous) and flat out better self images. Is this true for men? Do men get more confident with age or less? I do not know.

    So, for the record, my opinion is that Yes, single men in their 30’s want to have sex less often than myself, a single woman in her 30’s. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

    Betty Steele

  6. Yahoo June 16, 2010 at 7:08 pm #

    Mine was gradual, I did not realize I was in my peak until after it was over. I could not look at a man without wondering how big he was? How thick? What he was like in bed? That consumed my day. So when it did totally consume it was a bit of a relief.

    Like I said it’s gradual, you won’t know it happened until one day you realize that a man is more than his penis!:)

  7. big daddy kane June 16, 2010 at 7:26 pm #

    Well, at the risk of getting excoriated . . . It depends. My sex drive hasn’t dropped off even as I bid adiu to my 30s. But a lot of that has to do with whether or not you stay and shape and what your inspiration is. I dated one of those 21-year-old hard-bodied mountain bike chicks in my 30s and my only problem was making it last (I though the 2 hump and dump went out of style as ou got older, but it still strikes us when the stars align). But she was pretty inspirational.

    I had similar results with another fit 30 something and beat my record for doing it in a single night. Again, she was pretty inspirational. I no longer feel the urge to hump air like I did as a wee lad, but I haven’t seen the drop off men are supposed to have. But then again I’m shallow; so fit, firm and fully packed is my answer.

    Some women in their 30s start viewing sex like shopping, “I want to go to the produce aisle, then get the bread, then finish off with a t-bone, or maybe crab legs.” This methodical approach can take the mystery out of it all, and the spontanaity, so you aging femmes keep it original. I really don’t want to fill like an actor reading a script someone else handed me.

  8. Captain Falcon Punch June 17, 2010 at 12:47 pm #

    Just because men’s interest in sex may dwindle in their thirties, doesn’t mean we wont bone the stupidity out of an unsuspecting beauty. We just need a little motivation. I’m in my 30’s and I can still chisel diamonds with my painfully erect purple veiny monster… I just need to be motivated. It’s not enough anymore to just watch porn… sure its good to rub one out on occasion, but if we’re talking full on horizontal baseball, you need to bring your A game if you’re going to ride this ride. I’m talking circus midgets, Three Stooges movies and duct tape. Go hard or go home, ladies. That’s what I say.

  9. Chinky June 18, 2010 at 10:36 pm #

    Based on the male 30-somethings I’ve been with, I didn’t see much of a drop off with them on average. Maybe I’m just lucky though.

  10. Kris May 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    Ok, I think this one suits me for a responce. I am 32 soon to be 33 this year ( eeeeekkk!!! ) I am Married have been for nearly 13 years now my husband is 34 going on 35 this month.

    First as for my sex drive it is going thru the roof I blame this partly on the whole bialogical clock ticking phanomanon we women go thru even if we don’t realise it. I have kids I don’t want any more but my body says get to doing it like rabbits cause it wants a baby. Thankfuly my Wonderful Husband got fixed years ago.

    Now as for his sex drive he’s nearly half way thru his 30’s now and I see no decline in his labido. In our 20’s he was romantic about getting the sexual attention he required. mid 20’s the coy comments came out when he didn’t get the responce he wanted the begging started. Late 20’s he became blunt about his requests for attention to the point I had to say you know A little suave abotu it would go along way then ” Hey ya wanna do it?” (Men)
    the start of 30’s brought on the dashing blunt man I call it this because he would give the bed room eyes grrr a little then say hey baby ya wanna ****? Yes it was as bad as Joey on friends saying “How you doin?” I myself had trouble finding that romantic or sexy because I was laughing to hard at his new found approuch. Now in his mid 30’s he’s ravinous he wants it all the time the more he gets the more he wants he’s the can’t keep his hands to himself wanna touch ya all the time and every where. Makes dirty comments and politely states what he wants in the naughty ways if thats understandable at all.

    So I say no a man’s sex drive does not drop off at 30’s I think any man who has a lacking sexualy in their 30’s it’s something else causing it not his age. I can’t bend over to pick up the kids toys with out him saluting me. His sexuality is just as strong if not stronger then his teen years & I do believe he would agree with me.

    Any one who thinks time in a marriage is making their sex life fall flat needs a little help getting it back on track comfert with someone should increase your kinky side communicate and get wild not make you two old maids in rocking chairs come on 30 is not dead. He is just as kinky as I am if not more and it’s the best sex we have had yet after 13 years of each other.


  1. Conversations on Pride « - June 18, 2010

    […] image/body/weight/etc. issues once they hit their 30s. Not to mention the lack of boners due to the slowed sex drive for men you brought to the table the other day. For me, I’m just riding the wave. I learning to be truly […]

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