Ask Captain Falcon Punch!

4 Jun

Captain Falcon Punch,

Is it wrong to have a “bitch.” I mean, say you have a really hot chick who gets off on saying “I’m yo bitch” and then performing all sorts of tantric sex on you. Does it make you a bad person to take advantage of having a bitch? Do I have to stop watching Oprah? Drop out of NOW? Or should I just start voting Republican?

Signed,
Big Daddy Kane

Dear Big Daddy Kane,

Let me tell you something, smooth operator… the only thing wrong with the word “bitch” is when YOU become one. If you have to question why your “bitch” chooses her own unique flavor of expressing her commitment to you AND has the common courtesy to fuck you raw with no half steppin’, who are you to question it? As far as I’m concerned that’s pure unadultered, motherfuckin’ love, motherfucker. Handle your business, son… cause if you don’t, I’ll get the job done. – CFP

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One Response to “Ask Captain Falcon Punch!”

  1. girlwithglasses June 4, 2010 at 3:06 pm #

    i love you, captain falcon punch. can i be YOUR bitch?

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