27 May

30. Kids half my age can legally drive.
I use the term “kids” to describe anyone younger than me.
28. Vampire Weekend seems like a cool band, but I’m pretty sure I would be
confused for someone’s dad if I went to the show.
27. Baldness.
26. It was easier to figure out how old we were prior to 2000 by doing simple subtraction.  Now I get confused and still think that 1995 was a few years back.  It’s not.  It was a decade-and-a-half ago.  Time to start organizing my high school class 20th reunion.
25. Instead of cheat-sheet notes on my TI-85 for math tests, now you can just txt ur frenz.  OMG!
24. I know what OMG means.
23. As well as LMAO, ROFL, TTYL and BRB.  WTF is ZOMG?
22. Waitstaff generally refer to me as “sir” and no longer ask for ID.
21. I can still party like I’m 21, but for the two-day hangover.
20. Skinny jeans, not allowed.
19. Smoking is still cool, but much more difficult to get away with in front of some of your friends.
18. Watching the MTV Top 20 Video Countdown was the key to what was going on in the world.  Now I’d rather listen to NPR.
17. Mom still wonders what I did last night.
16. I still fib a little.
15. Making my bed makes me feel like I’m doing it for reasons other than being nagged; like someone special might end up there later if I make the sheets and pillows match up just right.
14. Home Depot.
13. Apres ski is usually more appealing than all-day-ski.
12. Buying books and wearing glasses makes me feel cool and sophisticated.  So does wearing a suit and picking up the tab.
11. My back hurts from sitting at work too much.
10. I experience a secret joy when someone refers to me as “young man”.
9. Taco Bell is still a great idea at 2am.
8. Many of my friends have children.  Lots of them.  And they can talk.
7. It’s not a problem if nobody calls on Saturday night.  SNL and a bowl of popcorn are always a viable option.
6. Paying bills sucks, but not as much as the inability to do so.
5. “Dude”, “chick”, “awesome” and “dope” are still part of the vernacular.  “Rad”, not so much.
4. I still dream of being one of the Goonies.
3. My 401(k) kicks ass!
2. Is it still feasible to backpack around Europe without breaking out the Platinum VISA card?
1. I can make a ridiculous list like this while consuming a few drinks on a Tuesday night and have no problem going to work in the morning.  Unless I make another list.


Image courtesy of Ryan King.

6 Responses to “”

  1. Sport May 27, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    ZOMG! Taco Bell is always a good idea.

  2. Joe Mama May 27, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    I use “rad” all the time. I loves that word.

  3. girlwithglasses May 27, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    i spent yesterday laying on my bed with a fucked up back. it was possibly one of the most depressing days of my life, because it proved i am, officially, old.

    • theVar May 28, 2010 at 12:05 am #

      preach, girlwithglasses. Isn’t it scary though. If we feel old now, what will the next decade plus hold for us? Yikes!

      • girlwithglasses May 29, 2010 at 10:03 pm #

        i’m awaiting the comet that will wipe out most of the population of the planet. that’ll show my back who’s boss!


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