I Could Be Her Mother

25 May

The Look Alike & Me.

The Look Alike & Me.

Last week, my sister said, “Hey, there’s a girl I’m graduating with whose mom is your age. Her mom kind of reminds me of you.” I started thinking about where I am and where I thought I would be at this time in my life.

Eighteen years ago, my mother gave birth to a tiny little girl who looked exactly like me. Finding out that your parents are going to have another baby when you’re a teenager is a bit traumatic. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be 15 years older than this new sister. I had a mid-life crisis at 14.

For months, I thought and worried about what it meant to be 15 years older. In 15 years, I’d be 30, and she’d be 15. I would be old. Seriously old. And she’d graduate from high school in 2010. 2010!!!!! That date was completely unfathomable—the distant future. And I’d be, oh God, 33 years old. I envisioned myself married with two or three kids and a minivan. I’d probably have some gray hair in some kind of soccer mom do. I freaked out.

Soccer mom hairdo's don't get better than this.

Soccer mom hairdo's don't get better than this.

Fast forward 18 years: my baby sister graduates next week on the exact same date I graduated from the same school 16 years ago. I turn 33 this week. I am not married. I have no kids. I definitely do not have a minivan. I’ve been pretty lucky in terms of the gray hairs, and I wouldn’t consider the cut to be of the “soccer mom” variety. I have an adorable, sweet dog. I have a 2000 Corolla that I will drive until it dies. I have a master’s degree in a field that is as different from my undergraduate degree as possible. I have a very good job at a very good university working with outstanding people. For the first time in my adult life, I have a boyfriend who loves me and who is a true partner.

Most importantly, I have built the most amazing circle of friends that I never could have imagined at 15. Early childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, family, work friends, roommates, grad school friends, roller derby friends … These aren’t just acquaintances or casual friends. These are the people who make up the family I’ve crafted for myself. They are the people who matter and the people who make a difference in the world. My thirties are not about me, they’re about this huge, extended family for which I am so grateful.

This week, I will go to the graduation, and I will be so proud of this girl who looked like my daughter, who is my sister, and who I will miss terribly when she goes away to school. I won’t be the person I thought I would be 18 years ago, but I’ll be the person who I have grown to be, and that’s not too terrible. Plus, I have the cutest dress/earrings/shoe combination…

-Alison

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3 Responses to “I Could Be Her Mother”

  1. Alison's Little Sister May 25, 2010 at 10:51 pm #

    Did you really have to use that picture to show the resemblance between us?

    Love ya sis!

    • enyabiznass May 26, 2010 at 1:53 pm #

      I thought the resemblance was striking. :)

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