Pieces of A Thirty Mind

19 May

Face it!  Life never goes as planned unless you’re one of Manhattan’s elite. (Need a moment to recover from the nausea? I do!) Well, today’s Thirty Rotten Scoundrels are going to expose the expectations they had of the 30s and give you the reality of living them.  From marrying too early to following “The Plan”, you’re going to hear about two situations that are probably no different than your own.  We’ll start with GC33 and see how he’s tackling this decade.

33 is here, and I’m moving on to 34 at that same unassuming pace that pushed me past 30, 31, and 32. Like so many of us, I remember the slightly larger than 29 and significantly larger than 31, obligatory kickoff to my 30’s. Wife and friends at the house… “surprise”… “woohoo” … “shots”… Now get the f*** out.

No big deal really, turning 30, it’s just a birthday…. It’s the conglomeration of days afterward that make up how I really feel about my thirties. In a nutshell…”Thank F***ing God I’m out of my 20’s”!!!

Why in God’s name do people hold on to their 20’s so tightly and with such reverence? Granted everyone has their own story, but I imagine mine isn’t too much different than the average Joe. Let me sum up my 20’s, feel free to adjust ages plus or minus a few years.

These days are vaguely familiar

STAGE 1: 20-26ish: Start out on what you think is a career path and in your spare time you drink, puke, date, and f***. (NOTE: this part wasn’t so bad… unfortunately a few bad years are equivalent to a few bad apples in destructive prowess.)

STAGE 2: 26ish-29: Maybe by now, you figured out career one was a joke and you’ve moved on to career number two. Somewhere along the line you met someone worth seeing for more than a night during the “drink, puke, date, f***” stage. Oh shit, surprise! Next thing you know you’re engaged and a year or less later…WHAMO… Married! You’re living pretty decently by pooling each other’s money for your apartment rent and then decide you WANT and NEED more space, because “hey, we’re doing pretty good”! Well you eventually learn that your combined efforts were adequate for the purchase of a house…. But oh shit, you didn’t budget for that little something called… EVERYTHING ELSE! Oh, and let’s definitely not forget about that needling desire to start a family before “we’re too old”. Only now, in your thirties, do you realize what an absurd thought that was! If you’re one of the “lucky” ones, you managed to get a puppy first!

That sums up mine… pieces of that hit close to home for  you? What have I been doing since my 30th Birthday? DISMANTLING IT ALL!!! Like many of you, I didn’t start my thirties out with an intentional life overall. One day we just realize the reconstruction has started and it’s moving ahead whether we like it or not. Mine started out of necessity, mainly for the poor soul that I met in Stage 1 of my twenties and walked with me through Stage 2. I think we both hit our thirties and realized that following the “20’s process” of dating, engagement, married, house, dog/kids will eventually bring you to the question, “Now what?” For many of us, a clean slate truly is the best answer to that question.

Again, “Now what”? Well, I’m breaking completely free of process and expectation. I think I know what went wrong and I’m determined to not fall into the same decision making that sullied my latter twenties. I’ve learned that the notion of “getting it out of your system” in your early twenties in order to lay the land for the rest of your life is

Power Rangers to the rescue?

complete bullshit. On that note, I would like to cordially welcome Career Joke #3 and respectfully ask my fellow Thirty Somethings to take enjoyment in reliving Stage 1. What better way than to fully embrace your 30s than a good drink, a good puke, a good date, followed by a better f***.

Enjoy them…. I know I do!

–GC33

I can’t wait to hear what you have say Scoundrels!

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2 Responses to “Pieces of A Thirty Mind”

  1. Ryan May 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    Listen up, younguns…this is 100% truth. Great f**king post–hilarious.

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